mood~

hmmmm

bipolar mood

going in to the training camp later

i feel happy for can making new friends , meeting 988 DJs , and can learn something really useful to my studies or even future career

yet i feel sad too

for cant enjoy my time with family and friends , cant rest whenever i want , and i cant give my sweetheart accompany and i know she miss me

3 days

i know it wouldn't be easy

i know something big is waiting for me

and i can just wait here for dying

its okay

i know things big it also wouldn't can be bigger than my Monday's date

a date with the MINISTRY?

yea

i will be performing in front of the ministry

the first show

dancing in front of him

@@

its kinda stressful

and this is LIFE.

haiz.

ciao~

miss

time flies

brings away those tears

fade out those memories

i am leave with sadness

i do care bout something

something that actually i can't be too care

i will lose

i will miss

i love

thats why i care

step by step

i'd lost my own direction

where are the destiny?

just a joke .

morning~

6:40 in the morning
facing all the shit notes but cant be read in to my mind


for more than 1 week i said i wanna study it
for more than 1 week i'd been playing around without touching it

and this is the reason which is why am still facing my computer in this freaking early time
i wish to fall asleep
but i don't wish to retake this stupid subject
no choice and i have to study no matter how unwilling am i


this is call LIFE




we are always left with no choice
we are always wish to get another thing but first we have to sacrifice it
we are always been constrained to do things unwillingly
and
we are always have no chance to say NO



who the hell in this world is fu*king free and unfettered?
who the hell in this world is fu*king free from all anxieties?







let it be
everything will be fine
take a break and ready to move on
all we needed is just a fresh big breathe




okay should go back to study now.
morning peeps =)

exams.

study week past so quietly
without any sense of mine
and for sure i didn't touch any of my study notes

exam week
1 down and 5 more to go

yet my heart is still not in the exam mood


i am waiting for my one week holiday
i am waiting for my new short semester
i am waiting for the new year
i am waiting for my 21st birthday
i am waiting for the end of the short semester
and
i am anticipating for the Chinese New Year


things i am looking after are all happiness
seems like i am not happy enough recently?


i hate examinations
i hate getting stress

i hate my loved one gets hurt
i hate i could do nothing




i hate watching the tears from dropping but mine have to be hold
i hate seeing the bloods from bleeding but i have to stand very still




if you know how does heartache feels like
you wouldn't do so

don't even say love
because you ain't the one.

the Mask

Do not take things for granted
this is what i learnt from my ex-college


i was just a 18 year old secondary school graduated girl
but i knew how meaningful this sentence is
i got the message inside

but seems like no much people knowing the true meaning?
they do things for granted,take things for granted

everybody is wrong,the only correct one,is you





other's pain you feel nothing
because you made it
other's feel you feel rubbish
because you did it



how pretty how beautiful
no one will doubt on you


you wear thousand of masks on your face and act so naturally
should clap for you,for your brilliant action





no one is worthless if you do know how to APPRECIATE


the same thing
you do not know how to appreciate
that's why everyone is worthless to you
and you are nothing to everyone too.

night.

就让我的眼泪一直掉
反正在遥远的你 看不到

是誰說 不會讓我掉眼淚

謊言

you should know why.

fuck off

you said.

it is okay.

never mind for your heart breaking action.

emo...?

sometimes

i couldn't face the hard feeling of myself

i smile so hard but actually i was emo-ing

these led to a dim view of my recent life

i just have to admit that i am not happy at all

i know there is something between but i choose to keep myself in silence

things all happened

and then ended up with a freak fake smile

seriously look down on myself.

...

finals around

stress begin to arise

i know i couldn't control my bad temper again

never mind, there are always corners with changes awaiting me.

hope so.=)

boom

I'd tried so hard to hold

i told myself you're busying with something else so cant pick up my phone call

i told myself nothing to be mad

almost success to not blaming but concerning

but ends up BOOM

if, you are not going to follow me out

if, we are not waiting to hang out

if, i can only find you when there is something

what's up doesn't brings any meaning

but your what's up really makes me feel a bit hurt

no worries. just a little bit.

temper.haha. =')

...=')

心痛到呼吸难过

就是这种痛。






=')





i tell myself
i am pretty fine.

as i am already used to the freak heartache.

cold

sometimes life could just easily hit you down

i keep my smiles , i don't like to show my tears

it just shows how fragile my heart is

and yes

my heart is freaking fucking fragile

so don't try to break it

or else it would cut you

breathless

this night let me feel so darn cold

i miss the hugs

like how she misses you

ache

i am not the good child you asking for

so
u asked me to leave,without any emotion on your face


you never try to understand my life
you even want me to be how the lazy people do
staying at home do NOTHING?

don't even screw me up saying me do not play my role properly
i am a student of course i know
i do study well
at least not wasting your money to retake or resit or whatever shits




i tried so hard to balance all those shity stuff but ends up failed




i tried so hard from preventing my tears to drop off and yet i'd FAILED too


im hurt as well
but who cares?







no one bother me.
you said this to me

diam!

I THREW THE KEY IN

NOT IN PURPOSE

FRIGHTEN MY DAD

AND THE BOOM DETONATED

now only i realized how valueless am i in this so called HOME

i been labeled as a bad child

my family could read my thoughts

what ever i did its just a shit to them

whatever shits i say its all fucking shits to them too

keep quiet

dun ever ask me to speak