night.

就让我的眼泪一直掉
反正在遥远的你 看不到

是誰說 不會讓我掉眼淚

謊言

you should know why.

fuck off

you said.

it is okay.

never mind for your heart breaking action.

emo...?

sometimes

i couldn't face the hard feeling of myself

i smile so hard but actually i was emo-ing

these led to a dim view of my recent life

i just have to admit that i am not happy at all

i know there is something between but i choose to keep myself in silence

things all happened

and then ended up with a freak fake smile

seriously look down on myself.

...

finals around

stress begin to arise

i know i couldn't control my bad temper again

never mind, there are always corners with changes awaiting me.

hope so.=)

boom

I'd tried so hard to hold

i told myself you're busying with something else so cant pick up my phone call

i told myself nothing to be mad

almost success to not blaming but concerning

but ends up BOOM

if, you are not going to follow me out

if, we are not waiting to hang out

if, i can only find you when there is something

what's up doesn't brings any meaning

but your what's up really makes me feel a bit hurt

no worries. just a little bit.

temper.haha. =')

...=')

心痛到呼吸难过

就是这种痛。






=')





i tell myself
i am pretty fine.

as i am already used to the freak heartache.

cold

sometimes life could just easily hit you down

i keep my smiles , i don't like to show my tears

it just shows how fragile my heart is

and yes

my heart is freaking fucking fragile

so don't try to break it

or else it would cut you

breathless

this night let me feel so darn cold

i miss the hugs

like how she misses you

ache

i am not the good child you asking for

so
u asked me to leave,without any emotion on your face


you never try to understand my life
you even want me to be how the lazy people do
staying at home do NOTHING?

don't even screw me up saying me do not play my role properly
i am a student of course i know
i do study well
at least not wasting your money to retake or resit or whatever shits




i tried so hard to balance all those shity stuff but ends up failed




i tried so hard from preventing my tears to drop off and yet i'd FAILED too


im hurt as well
but who cares?







no one bother me.
you said this to me

diam!

I THREW THE KEY IN

NOT IN PURPOSE

FRIGHTEN MY DAD

AND THE BOOM DETONATED

now only i realized how valueless am i in this so called HOME

i been labeled as a bad child

my family could read my thoughts

what ever i did its just a shit to them

whatever shits i say its all fucking shits to them too

keep quiet

dun ever ask me to speak

pissed off

midnight.



the people had really pissed me off
not about what had happen but about the attitude of her
i heard something
which means the FACT from others' mouth is really turning into a fact

you're so successful aren't you?
you've made what you wanted
you've had what you wished
you've even successfully turned the situation into deadlock




you shirk your responsibilities
you evade all the fact
you escape from truth and sink yourself inside the fool paradise of yours


would all these made you feel happy?
or seeing me appeared so embarrassing can recover your ache?





i couldn't find a word to express this kind of NAIVE
you said you understand
yet,sorry
i really DO NOT feel any
you've spoiled my mood
how great you are



what you've did really making all the things no turning back
please do understand how childish you are
and please do understand you much hurt you could bring to others





selfishness and ill-mannered wouldn't make your life better but worse
feel sick of you.













***
life is tiring

your shoulder is warming ♥

August

1st of August

which means i have to go back to college and start to suffer again by tomorrow
which also means is the time stress and pressure begin to hoard
which means i have to busy for another 3 months again too

nothing is gonna be alright
i know
because everything is changing to even worse



accept the fact
no matter how i wished my dream would really comes true











the unsecured feeling surrounding between
i realize how problem i was
i realize how much guessing inside




i realize no matter how unwilling i am
if things really need to let go
I leave no choice





i am not upset
just being so tired and wish to shelter myself in your hugging














put all my effort in dancing .

leave me alone

its a night my tears are accompanying me
heartache.
truly pain like hell

only know i cant lose you guys
only know the days we had is so damn important to me



but things couldn't return anymore.

there are something else which make me feel this sad
but i don't wish to share

leave me alone
don't feel like blogging now.

change

my blog with a new skin



the colour just perfectly express my feeling in lately
it ain't BLACK
it is gray
the colour of the mixture of black and white

the mixture of happiness and sadness
the mixture of laugh and weep
the mixture of love and hate



=')
tears with smile
looks good.

.

it ends up without a full stop

i hate nights that make me think too much of nonsense

i just cant hold my tears like how i lose control on missing you so crazy





you knew that ain't what i wanted to say
you pretty sure that ain't my thoughts

yet you threw out the joke which brings the meaning of mine in the other way round












it wasn't fun
its pretty hurt

i tried to laugh yet the tears were rolling down so unexpectedly
and i was unable to stop my tears from dropping


this much i care about you.